Archive for July, 2008

So, here we are

Posted in Jacob's Story on July 18, 2008 by timmccoy

Mary in one room, baby in NICU.  What the heck is a NICU? Neo Natal intensive care unit.  Very intensive care. Very little sleep and you wash your hands, put on a new gown every visit and pray a lot.  Evening of the first day and the baby is struggling to breath.  Mary is in much pain and she is not allowed up to even see the boy.  He is turning gray and they keep giving him more blood. Tuesday becomes Wednesday.  I am selfish and very unlike Christ and don’t allow everyone to come into the room to see the boy.  I shut people down and should not have.  Stupid on purpose as they say.  Baby very sick, need to send to Charleston.  Bigger hospital, more specialized.  Thursday morning, he goes flying in helicopter, I go flying with my mom driving.  Mary stays behind, they won’t let her come.  I have to make decisions by myself.  We beat the helicopter.  How do you beat a helicopter?  Where is he?  Get him here! Help is here!

“There he is!” my mom cries out! He looks awful.  I can still see his little body strapped to a bed, arms straight out with tape around them on a little board to keep the needles in his wrists.  Mask taped to his head keeping oxygen in his face.  Legs crossed at the ankle.  And the BLOOD!  Everywhere there is a hole, this baby is bleeding.  Nose, ears, eyes, mouth, butt . . . .  He is swollen, badly bruised. 15 people around him and his eyes wide open with the most horrified look I have ever seen.  I want to scream and reach down and hold him, but I can’t.  Then a nurse jabs him in his side with a needle and blood pours out of him.  God NOOOOOOOO!  He is just a baby.  He is my son.  Why?!  My mom is crying, the nurse who brought him from Beckley is crying.  I am being strong, but inside I am just dying.  Screaming would only make it feel better for a second.  I have to be strong, I have to make decisions, I have to get my boy taken care of.

At that moment I got saved for real.  I saw what God saw 2000 years before. I saw my boy at the CROSS roads of his life.  I would have done anything at the moment to save him.  I would have killed you or a hundred others, given my own life, worked a thousand jobs or whatever it took.  My boy was dying before my eyes and I could do nothing.  I was helpless. And all the while Christ stayed in front of me.  I saw that cross and I understood finally after years and years of wondering why He did not heal Himself and get off that cross.  Because He and His Dad cooked up this scheme that would save us all; His own death.  His sacrifice for all of us.  I knew then my life was totally going to be different.

As I looked at that little body and waited for him to make a sound, he never did.  The tubes prevented any kind of sound.  I never heard him cry.  But I did see the most amazing thing.  Simple as it was, as I cried, Jacob shed a tear as not only had he saved his mom’s life physically, but he just made his Dad’s life have true meaning.  2 Days old and already seeing people saved.  What a boy?  What a God?  What a Saviour?  I am learning so much the hard way.

Exploratory Surgery comes.  Find the Chapel and read the writings of others who have come and gone.  Write about Jacob.  Mary comes, still very fragile, baby fragile, and the waiting begins!

Need a break.

Love yunz

Tim

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Get up, we have to go to the doctor!

Posted in Jacob's Story on July 2, 2008 by timmccoy

Many a man has heard that cry in the middle of the night with a pregnant wife, but no one wants to hear it at 2:30 am and your wife is only 26 weeks along.  It is too early, maybe a false alarm, what is up, get in the car, drive 4 miles like a maniac, get to the hospital, check in, get a bed and then the fun begins. Not any fun now mind you. This child was coming. No waiting. Mary is tilted upside down as they hoped to use gravity to keep the little one in. Steroid shots for the lungs.  Then the contractions, hard and painful.  One dose of medicine to stop the contractions. We need three days to help the lungs. More contractions. That’s not supposed to happen. Ready for power shot to stop contractions, but it could cause problems for Mary, even death.  Just as they are ready to put the needle into the IV and stop those contractions a big push comes from the inside and the water breaks. Did the baby just save his own mother’s life. Did he just give his life for hers?  All heck breaks loose as baby is on its way. Kiss wife goodbye, crying, all hope just about blown up. Will either of them come out of that room alive? Whisked away by a green and blue army of masked helpers. Standing beside an empty spot sobbing.  It is not supposed to be this way. Why God? Don’t take my wife! Don’t take my firstborn! What are you doing?  The baby is going to be so small. I don’t get it! Why are you letting this happen?

Minutes/hours/days/seconds later (it is all such a blur), 2 nurses rush by with a real tiny bundle with a big bag on its face and some very small fingers and toes sticking out of a blanket.  It’s a boy! (And all a long I thought you would be a girl)  Wow, I have a boy!  Jacob Tyler, the only two boy names we liked and we used them all at once! How was Mary?  Doing fine, Baby struggling but alive.  Prepare for many months of stuff, if we get that far.  Okay God what is up?  He is so tiny and you have never seen so many tubes, wires and gadgets in your entire life.  One arm is roughly the length of my index finger.  He is so bruised.  Poor baby.  I am so sorry.  God what did I do?  He doesn’t deserve this!  He is just a baby!  Heal him!  You promised! Heal him. I don’t understand! Thus began a 4 day journey and that is about all for today!

Love yunz,

Tim